Highfields Amateur Radio Club
Fun & Games Pages.

Radio Anti Glossary.

Not Quite the Glossary
or
What things Really mean!
All additions will go in in alpabetical order with
next to them if they are 'new'.

Call-sign

Something for someone you never met to pretend to have earned when you shuffle off this mortal coil.

Common Sense

The most uncommon thing of all.

CW

The result of a desk microphone coupled with middle age spread and the need to reach across the shack table.

Foiliage

Damp vegetation that cuts down on your signal.

Friend

Anyone who will talk to you for half an hour on 80m. Anyone who stays longer than that is called a masochist.

Integrated Circuit

You have the only one in existence. This theory will be borne out when you try to obtain a replacement.

Ladder Line

The parallel scrapes down the side of the house where you didn't have an assistant hold the ladder while you affixed that antenna.

Licensing Requirements

A set of rules that change in direct proportion to the the number of people discussing them.

Log Book

Those small scraps of paper dotted around the shack with partial callsigns and other info quickly scrawled so as to be unintelligible just 5 seconds later.

M3

A very old BMW pretending to be a boy-racer chariot.

Maritime mobile

What you become after being thrown overboard for wiping out Ch16 on the ferry with your 2m handheld.

Mast

A device guaranteed to cause TVI for at least a mile, even when surmounted by nothing more than a white painted wooden broom handle.

Microphone

The device which is invariably locked on TX when you burn yourself with the soldering iron and emit a licence revoking expletive.

Mobile

The state in which one drives whilst trying to set the duplex shift on a modern radio. Also known as "Driving Without Due Care and Attention".

Power Supply

A large piece of apparatus which acts as a broadband matching network between your radio and any noise on the mains power system.

Resistor

Anyone who objects to your antenna mast.

Solder

The old lead variety, explains why most radio enthusiasts are totally barking.

Terminator

The XYL at tea time in mid QSO.

Transistor

A fuse with a very low blowing current and three legs. Usually gives up 5 seconds after the last known supply of that type in the world has been sold.

Tune Up

A ritual from the days of thermionic PA stages which involves twiddling the controls with an expert air and hollering "hooola!" into the microphone for ten minutes.